Monday, November 9, 2015

Why I Won't Be Buying Fallout 4

Andy P.
Hey guys. Square Andy, here. Real person, not another stupid internet persona. Check the pho-to. That reminds me to pick up some And a darn steam bun. What's up with those anyway? They look like an old sack you'd put gold coins in the past.

Speaking of which, all my hard earned gold coins from my dual employment will NOT be going to Bethesda Software, LLC. now and forevermore into the future.

I'm a Christian man but I swear it has little influence on my choice of entertainment with the exception of OBVIOUS displays of amorality, sin, morbidity and evil.

Listen, I'm not here to lecture you, but DON'T BUY THIS GAME. This is a game for bloodthirsty bloodhounds and there's even an option to play as a BAD PERSON in these games, I'm told. You have "KARMA," but even as a good person you BLOW THE HEADS OFF OF ALIENS and EVILDOERS at an alarming rate, no council, no trail.

WHEN will a game come, that the masses seek? When will video games see Mass Appeal? When will they reach Critical Mass and Critical Reception? There's a reason they don't win Academy Awards. I'm tired of these shoot-'em-up games for future spree-killers to gain ideas. What about games of Discovery? What about the Beauty of Building, not Destruction?

I do NOT wish to use my agency to DESTROY.

I DO wish to use my agency to do GOOD.


Don't answer me. There is no answer. Grandmas don't play video games. Moms don't. Sisters don't. Past the Age of Maturity real men play with Work Ethic, Power Tools, their Wives, and rarely video games. I'm tired of these games called Fighting. They present deformations of a woman's personhood with NO PERSONALITY and skimpy costumes with ENGORGED BREASTS. The solution to all video games is VIOLENCE. Even kids movies these days like The Lego Movie, the entire legacy we send to children is SOLVE PROBLEMS WITH VIOLENCE.

Like ISIS we indoctrinate children with violence
The Lego Movie encourages all youth to solve all problems with violence, not team work and parents beware: there's Lego video games where you KILL opponent Legos and HARVEST THEIR BODY PARTS to make other things. Sound like serial killer ED GEIN much? I don't want my kids touching that crap.

For every Grand Theft HAGGARD-EXAMPLE-FOR-OUR-CHILDREN V game release, when will we have a counter-balancing Ambulance Serviceperson Simulator? How about working as a check-in handling agent at an airport and learning about different countries? Or do children of today even want to see other countries... Think about it.

We are so privileged we spend our recreational time being hunted in a post-apocalyptic wasteland! That's how bored we are. Whatever happened to providing fairtrade coffee to the impoverished young of Ecuador? Sending ham to the desolate and remote villages in Northern Japan where ham is rare? What about sending air to the people of the Swiss Alps where breathable air is a commodity?

We live in complete commodity, our lives... birth, until judgement. 

Graphics aren't even very "Dope"

It's not an original concept. This game has hundreds of hours of content and it ALL revolves around BLOWING THE HEADS OFF SENTIENT BEINGS. All games called FPS (frames per second shooters) games revolve around shooting the heads off of people. You shoot things in the face, that's your prerogative. Is that the sum of human accomplishment? To put a destructive hole in each other's Center of Intelligence?

BILLIONS of dollars, per year, we spend to neglect our kids in front of a flatscreen so they can STAB, KILL and HUMILIATE THE CORPSES of their online friends. FPS should stand for Future Person-Shooter. We are training kids for war, not declarative statements about the virtues of peace.

What happened to holding hands?

What happened to going steady?

What happened to a swell-time without a realistic and ritualistic recreation of murder?

Sons around the country eat Lunchables with a controller. On any given weekend, Little Timmy has a sandwich in one hand, a knife as they stab an enemy in the back with the other. What can we do? Me, as a person, as a hypothetical parent, to save ourselves?


This is what real gameplay looks like
The Greatest game I've ever played was a Sony Computer Entertainment title, a 2009 video game masterpiece called simply, "Flower."

This game is a breath of fresh air, because you don't play as a shooter, you play as the wind. You don't lose, or die, or get reborn like only Christ can do, you simply are... wind. You collect rose petals through vast landscapes, and thus further beautify the land. Any screen capture of this game is an indelible delight and artistic achievement. And the game takes a dark turn toward the end as you navigate the nature God haseth let mankind destroy. Smog and broken streets, and it's your place to restore.

Let us rejoice in beauty mankind can sometimes so seldom seem to offer, and rejoice tradition and beauty... not shooting big POW-y blasting plasma rifles that obliterate the image of a person's face into supernova of blood with bone fragments as a backdrop of stars. Because those beautiful, unshootable faces, belong to our sons and daughters, aunts and uncles, and our mothers.

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