Friday, July 4, 2014

The Hyper-Inflation of Cool

Don Draper draped up in Don Draper shirt

You ever wonder if all the people out there acting ironic all the time, that one day they're going to cash in? Then instead of acting cool facetiously, these people will be very well-versed in the motions of being cool. Thus, creating a cool surplus.

Right now, they're on a bank loan of cool. We've given them a free pass to act cool without judgement. But one day, there will be a bank run on cool. I'm talking late 1920s. They will run to cool in lines, waving papers.

All these would-be Don Drapers, players and pimps will mess with the social monetary equilibrium. The gold standard will be worthless, because the influx of cool creates hyper-inflation.

I mean, right now at this very moment we give a free pass to these parrots who chirp "awkward" like it was their first word. These ne'er-do-wells don't realize all the term does is highlight how insecure they feel.

All these people are being let into the Kool Kids Klub, laming up culture with fedoras, championing fads of the present and past, from beatnik poetry to fixies. It's a subversive attack on America through ironic banjo ownership.

Coffee house artists will read Bukowski upside-down with divine presence. These nu-found alley cats will pickup all the stray birds. The market will flood. The bubble will burst. Alternative will be mainstream, mainstream will be so late 80s.

Cool will be the new lame. Irony will be tame. Sincerity will be brave. And where does that leave us? Like the Charles Bronson song asks, "What the fuck are you going to do when it's cool to be yourself?"

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