Thursday, October 1, 2009

Exclusive: Immortal Technique interview

Today a representative of this blog sat down with political rapstar Immortal Technique to discuss issues the rap artist feels are too important to put in song.

Evening, Mr. 'Nique.
Yo, yo. Word.

What issue would you like to discuss with this most public of forums? This website reaches all over the globe. Is it Darfur? Hunger?
No, it's more personal. It's about the fucking you know, the onslaught on our own soil, on our homeland. The Man extends his tentacles down from government through the multinational corporations through private interest, infecting our schools, polluting the media and shit with their subliminal bigotry, creating sedatives for the masses as a whole — or as I like to call 'em, the sheep in line waiting for the slaughter. It's sickening, nahmean? I myself don't abide by no laws. the Immortal considers himself his own fucking country, dog, you dig?

Yeh, I feel you...
You know it's like, anarchy is my involvement with this shit called life. Anarchy is what's in my heart. My soul can't decide things like that, it's embedded within me. It's innate.

What brought this about, your fascination with sociopolitical themes and whatnot?
It all started in the 'hood, you know. My roots. I was with my mama living offa grape fruit and a generic form of licorice rope, when I decided to set my aspirations higher. No one should live in those conditions. What really set me off was that Harlem had no Ikea, but the rich neighborhoods to the south did. I had to drive an hour to get a new coffee table to hold my empanadas and coke. That's been the driving force behind my art.

Your obsession with home decor?
Yeah, society's fucked up ways. Our forefathers died for this land and I want to put some icy furniture on it. Who wants to drive that far? This is why I believe in communism. It's a hot knife through the class system, that bourgeois bullsnaz. Share equality of the prosperity, brothers. The way I see it in my own way is that, we're all on this boat together. Now if I hear y'all gotta party up on the ship deck with bitches and that oregano-smoke in the air and I'm not invited, I'm drilling a hole and this mother's going down like the Titanic! [IT smashes his fist into his other hand.]

That seems like a strong way of putting it, don't you think that's a little —
Back to what I was saying about myself. I'm my own country. What makes sense to the individual is the righteous path. You're in my home because I let you in, but this is a totalitarian state. Now, as the leader, I demand you get my Dunkaroos out the fridge. I be havin' my shit chill, player, cold as my heart in the presence of a white person.

But, I — I'm here to interview —

[Mr. Technique gives a stare signaling he means business. Rep hurriedly rushes to the fridge.]

...And an iced tea with that lemon. Don't forget them cold cubes, a crazy straw, and one of them toothpick umbrellas, the hot pink one.

[Our rep brings tray of goodies, places it in front of IT on his ying-yang coffee table next to an Xbox controller.]

Here you go, Felipe.
Who said you could call me Felipe? I've shot niggas for less than that. Apologize and call me Sir Immortal before I send my bodyguards after you.

[Immortal snaps his finger and signals hand gestures to his nephews Juan and Pedro, age 8 and 9 respectively. They are ready to fire high-powered airsoft rifles on command.]

I'm sorry, Sir Immortal. I'm not used to certain etiquette, I suppose, when it comes to —
As I was saying — Oh, you didn't bring me a coaster. I won't hold that against you, 'cause I didn't mention it. Using the tray is low-class, like some proletariat type shit. Now I'll have to worry about whether my table and 360 controller get wet. You see the dilemmas facing modern America? Every choice I make is war.

Do you play video games often?
To relate to the struggle of my people, I've quit reading and became immersed in games where I'm in combat, you know, part of the infantry. They're my form of meditation for eight hours a day, when I'm not battling whack, cracka MCs with intellectual rap, wisecracks and abortion references. There's some cool games about aircraft, too, but where's the Stalin simulator? That's what I want to study, the rise of power. How do you mastermind to Rwandan genocide?

I don't understand.
Of course you wouldn't. Anyone not feeling my revolutionary revolution is part of the system. You've had an IV of liquid blue pill stuck in you like a silver spoon since birth. You're stuck in The Matrix like a pathetic, lethargic devil. Worm!

[Pause] ...The Matrix, that was a good movie. Really enjoyed the first one.
[Immortal Technique raises his arm, snaps his fingers, and gives what appears to be Sammy Sosa's patented homerun camera salute. Our representative was then hit by his henchmen with a barrage of pellets until he vacated the premises.]

1 comment:

  1. Hey - I am certainly happy to find this. cool job!