Thursday, October 1, 2009

Dirty dog Scruff McGruff

Scruff McGruff — the dog who takes a bite out of crime — is a staple for every great American childhood, much like Street Sharks, Denver the Last Dinosaur, and the Aggro Crag. Nothing encourages delight in a young child or a sophisticated adult quite like an animal with human attributes.

This trench coat-toting puppy dog is about the sliest and hippest anthropomorphic animal you ever did see. Not only was he the coolest, but he made things like policing and not doing drugs seem less square. This bloodhound chose to go his own way, rejecting drugs and cuffing thugs. He's like a drug-sniffing dog evolved and gone Serpico.

I have a genuine admiration for his work ethic, perseverance, and rebel cop mentality. He only abides by the rules he believes in, never folding to arbitrary office rules and social norms. That's why they called him Scruff — he's to busy busting caps in Chicago's hardened criminals to deal with trivialities like shaving or written warnings.

Yet every hero has his inner demons. Look into McGruff's eyes and tell me there's no darker side. To me, Scruff is a man plagued by a deep-seated secret. What is it? He wears it on his sleeve. His trademark trench coat symbolizes something more sinister. He's a streaking, flashing pervert. Dogs evolved — at least in his case — but he wears a coverall coat. Despite his body of work and immense popularity, we can't imagine this dog gets custom clothes fitted to his unique body type. Much less after we remember the discrimination evolved dogs face in America today.

The finger is often pointed at these "wild animals" as merely beasts, I'm sad to say. A few rotten apples, a few corrupt K-9s in the force, and dirty dog Scruff is dabbling with crime trying to understand his place in society. He's had a few misdemeanors for gyrating on women's legs in the park, and I believe he's done worse. Look into his sad, puppy dog eyes and you'll see the truth. But hey, we've accepted Peewee Herman. Every hero must have his flaws.

1 comment:

  1. yea but he was naked in a trench coat.. and said gay lines like take a bite out of crime..