Opening umbrellas indoors

It has to be good luck. Think about all those umbrellas only opened outdoors. The pent up frustration and longing. I bet they feel used and unappreciated. "You only use me when you need me, pig-human. And then, you cover me dirty rain, sometimes acid rain." They're neglected in homes and kept in closets. They're quarantined like cattle with other umbrellas in tall cylinders. Sad is the life of the umbrella, and its soul pours more bitter tears than those damp, dark clouds drizzling rain on them.