Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Cool Things From Planet Earth: The Library


Starting with library cards! Aren't they cool? Mine serves two functions at my local library. Not only does this amazing plastic card allow you to rent books and compact discs and even movies, but you can also add credits to print copies of things. Whoa!

In America, libraries are a peaceful place where the poor and pretentious, often two sides of the same coin, can go for free internet use. Whoa! Become the next Einstein as you study how to make atomic weapons at one of the library's many free internet terminals.

Libraries are often huge, containing a big selection of books. Did you know the average United States library contains more books than the ancient texts burned by religious fanatics in the Library of Alexandria? Well you shouldn't because that fact was made up.

At your local library you can find books and learn the same techniques Batman practiced, setup a club to talk about your interests like anime or what not, and stare at women intently through book shelves.

Did you know some libraries serve coffee and sandwiches at affordable prices? You do now! They also have seating arrangements for seating, reading, pretending to read, and eying your favorite married librarian while pretending to read.

My local library even rents Playstation 3 games for a week at no cost. We're talking tubular territory with that perk.

Sit down, relax, have a fag! Yes, many libraries even contain outdoor areas with seating for eating, reading, and smoking toxin-laden cigarettes. While outside you may even notice the bookmobile, the library's automotive counterpark that is basically a library that comes to you! Or should I say vrrooms to you!

Next time you're down on your luck just remember that the library is just one more cool thing from planet earth!

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