Wednesday, November 30, 2011

The great flip phone comeback

Back when I was a lad, I'd watch Tales From the Crypt alone in my room on a second hand TV that must've came from the 60s. It was just before bed that this young adult got to see graphic tales of gore and sex. And the reception was piss poor likely due to shoddy wiring, but man, the static only added to the magic.

You know, I hate owning a smartphone. I yelp "Go go gadget vibrator" and all of human knowledge pops up. It kills predictability when everything is in working order like that and you show up on time to your destination. The whole of human existence is summarized by the need to delude ourselves into thinking we have real problems, when we don't. We lie to make it more interesting, but deep down everyone knows peace is the answer. That's why people like engaging their supposedly naughty impulses like doin' weed, and doin' their friend's girlfriend, and doing a number, a large number on some high carb pie. You want a little pain to remind you of the frail and fleeting nature of pleasure, why else would we buy carbonated beverages? Or pretend to enjoy coffee and tea? Or thrill seek? And hypocritically praise depressing films with golden man statues after praising movies about robots fighting over the fuck-rights to Shia LaBeouf the rest of the year? It hurts so good.

Yeah I know this is just angst and eventually we'll all succumb to a world where we've got nanomachines floating around in our clitoris (or I should say, collective clitorii). There's no way around the influence of the general consensus. We're linked to our surroundings. Eventually we'll have to kill nostalgia and agree upon a will that isn't wholly agreeable just to survive. You know what I mean? In clearer terms, an analogy: doctors will be replaced by robots, and the benefits of technology will be too sound and reasonable to go on some bit about missing the good ol' days when a human would pat you on the back and say you're going to die of cancer. Nostalgia and romance, it just doesn't jibe against reason.

That said, I want a few more years of the tactile feel of stuff. Stuff that like art exists for no necessary purpose. Steampunk cogs, and throwback radios, video equipment from mid-80s era pornographers and other gimmicks, so long as they have heart. Unlike say, golden doorknobs. If you're not rich a fake gold facet isn't going to convince anyone of anything other than you being a bloody prick. A spiffy new cellphone with its magical touch screen and its better than real life quality HD and instant access to sports scores, quality restaurants and potential twat is only a reminder how drab and meaningless it all is. Life's a dream, a movie, and it only works if you suspend disbelief. I know having a phone with real buttons is no more real than virtual ones, but there's a psychological element that's still very much viable. There's too great a disparity between our technological and spiritual progress. There's a great conflict here. I don't want GPS, but I'd like to know where I'm going.

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