Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Say you had the pefect grandpa

He called you kiddo, stroked your chin lovingly, gave great advice, bought you the Ghostbusters headquarters play set, and let you borrow his Gran Torino for your first real date. In addition, he was unconditionally there for you emotionally and financially. Upon visiting your parents, he'd frequently hand you loads of coins and cash money, as long as you promised to bring him a rocket popsicle from the corner store.

Sadly, Gramps has fallen ill. As his favorite grandkid of all-time, he requests only you visit him at the hospital.

On his deathbed, Grandpa tells you, "My dearest loved one, I care not for my wife. Through my life, you were the apple of my eye. Since seeing the sonogram of you at your third trimester, I've fancied that ass quite a lot. Provide me some magnificent deathbed-dome, and all my earnings and my estate belong to you. You can even keep my Gran Torino. If you refuse, I'll have my friend Amin Akbar distribute the money overseas to terrorist organizations, as a world where a man can't get what he wants doesn't deserve to exist. Granddaddy wants to give up the nectar one last time."

Gramps has his attorney there with all the paperwork ready. Do you go down on your loved one, and inherit his estate with an estimated worth of 2.5mil?

I would consider the sick man's vile proposal, but only if I really loved him.

1 comment:

  1. How about a tug job for 25K old man? Then I bludgeon him and the attorney with an IV stand.