Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Windows vs. Apple: A Convincing End to the Argument

After the end of World War 3, fire and fumes still breathing life into the sunset, as only radiation-deformed humans and polio victims roam the planet scrounging for food in endless piles of rubble and refuse and debris, someone will pick up a Windows CD. They will look down and peer in wonder, and consider how we ever thought for an instance of a moment how this was not the backbone of civilization and the great grandchild of Alan Turning’s vision.

The poison knowledge of Eden is represented in the inferior Apple product. Sure, they’re good, they’re okay, but Windows is the patchwork, the high watermark of American ideals and Americana. We are a melting pot, and that’s why we need a computational system so bio-diverse and allowing for everything. We need it to work not just with the best materials, but the materials that poor third world folk salvage from the piles of rubbish that wash up on their shore. What other mainstream product is so diverse? What else made the internet aside from Al Gore? It was Windows.

Before Windows societies lived in a box cut off from the rest of the world and suddenly the light shined in and we were able to see. It’s a cheap product that runs most the computing productivity all over the world. So why is the comparison even brought up? You know how they build Apple Mac computers, my guy? They build them and do Research & Development by using WINDOWS supercomputers all tied together in their prowess and processing power and messiness to create the most basic Apple apps. Sure that’s a theory I made up but it’s probably true.

Apple is good for the simple-minded, the computer-retarded, and artists. It’s good for artists who don’t have the patience to trial-and-error potential problems with writing programs and music programs and directing programs. Go to any doctor’s office, or CAD-centric field like architecture or medical testing or that is involved in the making of prosthetics and you will find offices littered with Lenovos and Dells. They’re not always cheaper, either. They don’t have the flashy design, they have the utilitarian design that allows for efficiency. They have a software that’s more compatible with what came before it. There is no premium with Windows, it’s making things work with the tasks it’s presented with like it’s Oskar Schindler.

So while Mac fans masturbate in their grandiosity to their paper-thin, increasingly ineffective computers, like Spiderman they cling to the ceiling by excessive amounts of their own spunk inside that Starbucks. Comfortable, they can finally, by design, forever look down on everyone. Hopefully their Applepods stay in place with a Dave Matthews Band soundtrack throughout the entire ordeal.

It is also worth bringing up Demigod Bill “Humanity’s Savior” Gates, obvious heir to the throne of Christ. He suffers for our sins, cures African water poisons, and used Beam me up, Scottie technology to ghost into the body of Antichrist Steve Jobs and kill him from the inside out. Good riddance.

We must learn to appreciate our diversity, our ugly and pretty, our white and black, the patchwork of Lego design that is the lifesblood of the planet. The Origin of the Future is by Means of Microsoft Computational Selection. Gene design isn’t the pretty, vapid, false poetry of Apple. Life is a gritty poetry of blood, harm, violence and even death of competing ideas and an innately fascist operating system can’t handle such a task. Alan Turing created software to fight such fascism (WWII), and promote global unity via computational and coding freedom. It’s sure to say today he would see this fascist closed Apple eco system for what it is... the technological-spiritual sequel to Mein Kampf!

No comments:

Post a Comment