Saturday, March 6, 2010

EM - BAR - RAS - SING !!!

Allow me to preface this by stating I haven't had any real friends since 8th grade, when Mom refused to let me watch Half-Baked. So my car stalled behind Mauricio's Adult Video & Shrimp. Imagine the horror. I forgot the last time my car needed a jump was three years ago when my last friend Fat Todd was still alive. Imagine the horror. It's negative 4 degrees out in this remote area only a porno shop could thrive in. I can't go back in and ask if anyone has cables, after being forcefully removed for "moaning too loudly" in a private booth. After an hour of intense sobbing I made the call and Mother came and picked me up. You wouldn't think a boy can be grounded for a month at 37-years-young, but what can I say, she didn't approve of my actions. Imagine the horror.

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